Must Read

Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. As our passion began to heat up she said, "I don't feel

like it. I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT?! What was that?!" She said, "You're just not in touch

with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She

responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in

the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The next day I took off

of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department

store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said,

"Let's get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond

earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I

threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the

excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I

could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No baby, I don't feel like it." Her face went completely

blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a

while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs
as a woman." Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least she
knows I'm smarter than her.